Saturday, December 6, 2008

The Challenges of Successful Parenting

There is not a single parenting method that one could claim as perfect. Although there are general methods adapted to help parents in their problems, successful parenting is most often individualized according to the children's needs and temperament.

In short, one could not call parenting a business per se, because there are several emotional and psychological human factors that affect it.

If I were to enumerate the general concepts of successful parenting, then these are the concepts I would include:

1. Parenting is a journey of discovery

Be open-minded! Be ready to accept new knowledge and new challenges into your system.
Read books, update yourself on the latest gizmos utilized in parenting. Circulate and do not be afraid to ask other parents about their own adventures. Learn also from your child as he learns from you.

2. When needed, be firm and do not budge in your stand.

When you are sure about a decision, stay firm on it. That is why, you have to be wise in your decision making process.

Before deciding, look into all the angles.
Clarify the problem by writing it down, together with a numbered, itemized presentation of the merits and demerits. This would point out if there are more merits than demerits or vice versa.

Standing firm once you have decided will send a message that you mean business.

3. Spent quality time with your family.

This would give credence to your claim that family is the most important aspect in your life. Spending time with your family will deepen bonds and create a sense of belongingness and security for your children.

Go picnicking, swimming, skiing, etc. There are various activities to choose from. What is important is that you spend some time alone with them, away from any distractions. Have some quiet moments where you could talk to each family member, to your hearts content.
Listen and understand what they are trying to tell you. Take heed of their concerns and problems.

This will demonstrate how much you love them.

4. Learn how to appreciate your child. Reward positive behavior with love and a kind word.

You need not reward him with a material gift.
Rewarding your child always with material things will send a wrong message that material things are the most significant in life.

You may do this once in a while, but rewarding your child with love and a kind word would be more effective and lasting.

This does not mean that you only love your child when he is good. Make sure he understands that your love for him is unconditional; that no matter who he is as a person, you would love him without any reservations. This assurance would give a sense of security to your child. A child who feels secure is almost always productive.

5. Be a loving parent.

I had always believed in the adage of Exupery which goes this way:

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly.
What is essential is invisible to the eye."

Love your children well and they will love you in return.

"If you do not have love in your heart, you're like a clanging cymbal" (From the Holy Bible)

Even when you have to discipline them, do so with love for love would make things remain in their proper perspective.

In conclusion, no one can claim that he has the perfect formula for successful parenting. You may adapt traditional methods, but still the implementation would entirely depend on the type of parent you are, and on the receptivity of your child. As long as you remain a loving parent, then everything will fall into place.

This has been published at

Photo 1 by Leonid Mamchenkov

Photo 2 by slightlywinded


jakill said...

I like this too, Jena. By coincidence, I've just submitted a piece on parenting to Constant Content. Once it is reviewed and accepted, it will be showcased there.

Jena Isle said...

Congrats on your article, Keep writing. You're doing well there.

stellawoo73 said...

I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


Jena Isle said...

Hi Julissa,

Welcome and you can always come back. Will try to visit your blog too. happy blogging.

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