Friday, June 12, 2009

What Kind of A Parent Am I?

Sometimes parents are the last to know about their children's problems and at times it maybe too late before they become aware of the problem.

This was my greatest fear when I started rearing my children. So I took extra effort to let them know that their family will always be there for them even when the whole world turns its back; that their family members are the persons that they could truly trust in everything and anything under the sun.

This will then prevent them from going outside and looking for understanding from a group in which they could feel that sense of belongingness.

Angel Cuala of Happy Family Matters has invited me to post about what kind of a parent I am. Although this is late, I opted to post it anyhow.

I am the parent whom my children can consider their mentor, confidante, and friend.

I married early so my kids are not very far from my age.

In fact when my eldest was 25, they thought he was my younger brother, even they mistook him as my husband at times. (smiles).

My only daughter and I, talk up to the wee hours of dawn when she has some love problems.

Like when she had her first crush, we talked all night long and I listened as she told me stories about how intelligent and handsome the boy was.

I knew all her crushes and her boyfriends in her growing up years up to the time that she got married.

My son, in turn had a crush when he was 5 yrs old (I was astonished when he told me this as I thought at that age, he was still incapable of crushes).

I bought a teddy bear for the pretty girl during her birthday and my son was elated.

I am not encouraging them to get serious about their crushes, I know that this is a normal phase of growing up and I am glad I was there for them as I was able to guide them to the right path and simultaneously I want them to enjoy their lives as normal, growing –up kids.

When there was a fraternity in the school where my son was enrolled and he informed me that they were inviting him to join ( to prove his manhood), I was so worried.

When he expressed his desire to join them, I panicked. We had a long, heart to heart talk and I encouraged him instead to join the ROTC officer's training which was then - Thank God!-being conducted in their school.

I pointed out to him that this could develop his physical stamina too. I was able to convince him, and we were both on cloud nine when he passed the rigorous officer's training and became an officer in the University's ROTC.

I became a "parent" figure too at times when it was needed, but I never instituted corporal punishment.

I believe that “honey can attract more ants, than vinegar”, so I tried the positive approach- recognizing them for deeds well done.

They were still young then and any learning should be properly explained to them so they could understand the rationale behind specific decisions.

They themselves changed when they were properly motivated. Decisions regarding things that concerned them were usually done after consultation with them.

Acknowledging their ability to decide properly had reinforced their belief in themselves.

If it was something minor, I allowed them to decide for themselves.

When their decisions were wrong; however, I put my foot down and implemented what was best for everyone.

I had always shown them that I love them unconditionally and this had made them stronger and more confident to go out into the world and meet the challenges that life has to offer.

A positive approach to parenting is always the best choice to allow our children to grow and develop as responsible parents in the future and good citizens of the community to which they belong.


fatherlyours said...

Wow, you must be my mother's cousin? Joke only.I like your style of parenting just like my mother.
I also remember my son asking for my permission to have his ear pierce like his cousin and wear an earring. I just told him to finished his studies first then he could do everything he wished for.

Eric S. said...

Jena, will you adopt me? LOL, no seriously you sound like an awesome Mom. Your right children do need to know they can come to you when in need or crisis. Maybe if more parents were like that, there would not be such a gang problem in the US.

I applaud you for being so involved in their lives, and involving them in the decisions when they were young. That is hard to do.

I was described as a Drill Sargent instead of a parent, but she knew she could talk to me about anything.

I gave you an award, you can pick it up at my blog.

Guardian Angel said...

The summary has been posted last Aug 3. Sorry for the delayed information because I am having problems with my connection these past few days.

Thanks again for joining.

The Kind of Parent that We Are – Pinoy Parenting Blog Carvival 6th Edition

Jena Isle said...

Hi Fatherlyyours, you have a sense of humor. Your advice is sound-study first! Thanks for dropping by.

Hi Eric, those are heart-warming words . I'm all aglow(smiles). Yes, it has been proven through research that children look for the sense of belongingness at one time in their lives. If we are not there in this most crucial time, then we lose the chance of letting them see where they truly belong -the family. Thanks for the visit. Your blog is really so busy nowadays. Keep up the good work.

Hi Angel , it's a pleasure to join, even if I'm rather late. Thanks for inviting me.

To both of you, happy blogging.

Marion said...


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Jaskaran Singh said...

loved your blog....
hats off to u

theworkingmom said...

You really sound like a great mom! I can only hope that I will be one like you.


theworkingmom said...

BTW, I would like to invite you to join the 7th edition of the Pinoy Parenting Blog Carnival. We went on an unexpected break but we're now back! Please click here for the call for articles.

Hope you'll be able to join.


Blogging Parents said...

thanks for sharing your thoughts.. wow me sounds like spam.. :)

Virginia Gaces said...

The working mom,

You're welcome. Happy blog hopping.

Hi Blogging parents,

Thanks for the visit. Cheers.

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