What could be more amazing than being told by your teenage son that he will soon become a father like you? To confound the situation, this information comes at a time while you, yourself, are still learning the ropes of becoming a good father to him.
Fret not, because learning how to be a good father is a lifetime process in itself. Look at it the positive way and think how wonderful it would be to parent your son and grandson as well, and learn in the process. So how would you "parent" your teenage son?
The following are practical methods to parent a teen father:
1. The first thing that he should know is that everything that he does should be done out of love. When all things are done with love then even the most difficult chore would not be a heavy burden hanging on his shoulders, but a joyous act happily done for the loved one.
Once he understands this, then he would view his fatherly responsibilities as less stressful and more enjoyable. The correct frame of mind or perception would always work wonders and attract positive vibes.
2. Teach him the basics of parenting, like how to change diapers, how to prepare feeding bottles, how to burp the baby, how to put him to sleep, etc.
This way when the mother is not around, he would not be at a loss on what to do. Knowing the rudiments of baby care would make him more confident and less stressed out.
3. Ask him the question, "What do you like in me as a father?" Then tell him to follow your good examples and eschew the bad ones.
4. Let him earn his own keep. By allowing him to work, he will learn what great, financial responsibilities a father has. This will teach him also to spend wisely and sparingly.
At the onset, help him prepare his monthly financial budget and then let him prepare the succeeding ones.
5. Be visible during the early days of his fatherhood. He will be needing moral support, and much of that would be coming from you, his parents.
Just by being there and overseeing things would be a great morale booster for him.
Do not overdo it though, because he might assume that you will be there forever to solve his problems. Let him understand that he will be held greatly responsible in rearing properly his own child.
6. Have a heart to heart talk with the mother too. Your son cannot perform the parental responsibilities alone. He needs his partner to be able to do this. The mother has a pivotal and essential role in child rearing. Let her participate actively in rearing her child. Don't deprive her of the chance to be a good mother.
Whatever you decide to do, you must know how to do everything in moderation. Too much of anything could result to disaster and can have lasting, negative effects. Treat your son like a loving father should and he will be a good parent himself.
Photo by Steve Punter
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5 comments:
Really excellent advice, Jena.
Hi Jean,
Thanks for the generous words and happy blogging.
This is some good advice that can be applied to a lot of similar situations. Thanks for posting it!
Hi Heidi,
Thanks for those words of appreciation. Happy blogging.
Excellent advice, indeed. Though I hope having frequent talks about the awesome responsibilities of fatherhood - early, long before it's really needed - will keep the message front and center through the teen years, and head THIS particular kind of parenting off until my son is through college. Don't wait until after the fact to talk to your son about fatherhood. Not just about sex. I think one of the most important questions to ask a young man - even before it's an issue - is "How would have felt," or perhaps, sadly, "How do you feel?" about yourself and your own father if he didn't stick around to BE a dad? ASK him what he thinks a father should be and should do for and with his children. Is he up to all that? Make sure he knows how to prevent learning the answer the hard way.
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