Saturday, September 13, 2008

Some Bad Habits That Can Ruin Your Marriage

This has been published at

We all have our bad habits. They may be considered insignificant to us but when it is done repeatedly to a partner, they can be annoying and can actually ruin your marriage.

These are the most common bad habits that could ruin your marriage:

1. Keeping secrets about finances
At times, we have the propensity to conveniently forget to inform our spouses of the extra clothing that we purchased. At times, it is not the money that really counts but the fact that you have concealed it from him. Your partner may forgive you the first time, but repeated infraction will lead to eventual mistrust and fall-out from each other.

2. Ignoring your sex life
The ultimate physical union of husband and wife is vital to a married life. It may not be the “all” but it is a basic component that consummates the marriage. That is why in most countries, the absence of a sexual relationship is considered as a valid ground for divorce. Never refuse your partner, unless there is a great big reason. “Being tired” is not one of those. In fact, allowing sex could relax you and soothe you afterwards.

3. Constant criticism and fault finding
We tend to expect much from our partners. Sometimes we go into the marriage with smoke in our eyes. When we realize later that our partner has a human frailty too we get disappointed and start to criticize and find faults in all that he does. We should have that adult broadmindedness that

No one is perfect and that we have to tolerate each others’ faults if we want to have a harmonious relationship with our partners. Instead of criticizing, you can initiate the change in yourself. If he observes the effort you try to put into the relationship, he too will take the lead. This is of course, not an overnight process, especially if you have never compromised. You should be persistent in this endeavor and you will succeed.

by CarlosMendoza
4. Confiding in relatives or other persons instead of your partner
This indicates lack of trust and confidence in your partner. He/she should be the person you approach first when you’re in trouble. A marriage without trust is a marriage without a soul. Who would want in?

5. Forgetting the simple, but important words
As we grow accustomed to our partner, we may forget to be polite to say the three sentences that are short but significant. First is the sentence: “I Love you.” Couples take for granted that they have to say I love you as often as they can. Actions are vital but words are wonderful. It assures the other person that you remain loving him/her preventing misunderstandings. How often do we hear couples say, “I thought you don’t love me anymore, because you stopped saying it.”

The second sentence is “Thank you.” It signifies appreciation of the loved one’s efforts. Oftentimes, we take the other for granted and refrain from saying these simple sentences. “Thanks for that delicious meal.” Thank you for that well ironed shirt.” These are simple things that show you care for the other person’s contribution into the relationship
by Philms

The third sentence is: “You’re welcome.” When you say these words, you are acknowledging the other person’s recognition of your input. It shows respect and concern about the other person.

6. Extreme Disorganization - like socks on the floor, towels strewn in the bathroom, plates left at the computer table; these are all trivial things and can be ignored but if done repeatedly for years and years, may trigger an explosion from the partner which can exacerbate to a divorce. Remember that simple little things mean a lot. It can amass to form a formidable valid reason for divorce – not the small infractions but the message that it puts across – “I don’t want to change my bad habits because I don’t love you enough.” What better reason for divorce than this?

The main concept that married couples should remember is the idea that they are two completely unique individuals and that a compromise is in order when they don’t agree on certain points.

If you want your marriage to last you must be understanding and tolerant of each other’s faults.

In fact, some people say that long lasting love is actually “a great tolerance of each other’s faults and shortcomings.”


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